The truth is, I do love my job as a programmer. It’s not exactly my dream job. In fact, I don’t know what is but 5 years ago, I couldn’t imagine myself be doing any sort of programming at all. Now, I can safely say that I’m really good at this job. I love the part where I get to creatively and analytically fix problems and offer solutions. I like seeing how a system that I developed actually eases others’ task, overcome common problems and most importantly, deliver correct outputs. It’s a great feeling when people come up to me and tell me how my ‘creation’ has really helped them and save them time.

Sadly, top level managements are so overpaid nowadays that they became fatter, uglier, lazier and super duper spoiled. They all have this common bad breath and delusional fantasy that someday soon, computers can read their minds and then do everything for them. They insist to go paperless. They insist a new system must be developed for them and at the same time, they couldn’t be bothered with typing or clicking anything at all. Like I said, they want a freaky computer that can read minds. But then, the computer must only recognize to read their minds, not ours (the kuli-kuli minds). Aha, the thoughts that they are sending to the computer shall be encrypted to increase security. Okay la, boss, noted! To these pathetic top level bastards, you guys suck!

It sucks cos I do like what I’m currently doing but these people are giving me unnecessary stress and headaches by asking dumb questions and making ridiculously impossible demands… *Sigh*

Switching career at this point of my life is such a bizarre idea that even the thought of doesn’t make much sense right now. I know I should be doing something else. Maybe I’m naturally gifted at doing something else. Maybe I just haven’t meet with the right people just yet. Maybe I haven’t ask the right questions or simply, maybe I just don’t own the courage to change my own fate. I hate being a typical Taurus. I should be born a Leo or Sagi to make this happen! Let’s just hope and pray that in the next 5 years time, I don’t have to look back and ask “what if…”.

Know why I haven’t posted anything for a long long time now?

Cos I’m busy, tired and I forgot what’s the other excuse. Actually I don’t know what I’m going to do with this blog. I used to have lots of things to write about, so many people to make fun off or to be pissed off with but now… Maybe I’m just getting too old to still have that excess teen angst all the time. I really need to grow up. Literally. One of these days I’ll probably purchase that amazing slippers that promises ½ – 3 inches of growth within a period of time wearing them. Would I be happier if I were 3 inches taller? You bet!

And besides being taller, you know what else do I want? A lot! Would you like to read all about my hopes, wishes and dreams? Of course not! You know why? Cos it’s always about you, you, you, you, you with them, you with someone, you with your whatever. I’m sorry but I only have a pair of ears and I can’t assign one ear to listen to you talking all about you and the other one to listen to my own tiny faded inner voice telling me how you bore me to death cos ears don’t work that way, honey. They’re not like our hands.

Listen, sweetie, all I want to say is that the world doesn’t always revolve around you. Sometimes it revolves around me. Sometimes I can make headlines too cos I’m genuinely more interesting than you are. It’s true. Sometimes you just got to let it go when the spotlight dims on you. Trust me, it’s totally okay not to be the center of attention – been there, done that. When the spotlight eventually shines on you once more, your presence might just attract actual interest from others – who knows, right?

Before I write on about it, the last time my department went for a family day retreat was a couple years ago which was in 2007 and it was also held at the same venue. I think it was the most fun and memorable event in 2007. I enjoyed every moment, enjoyed everyone’s company and I couldn’t recall anything un-fun happened during that particular family day retreat.

Fast forward two years later… If I could sum up the recent family day retreat in one word, it’d be ‘OKAY’. Yup, it was simply okay at its best. Fun? I’m not sure. It definitely falls completely flat compared to the previous one though. It wasn’t as fun as I imagined it would be. Why? Honestly, I felt somewhat left out during the seemingly long 2 days and 1 night event. It made me realized that a lot of things could happen within a couple of years. Within two years: people got engaged, people got married, people got pregnant, people have kids, people with kids have more kids, people’s life changed-so basically, people moved on. And I-well, didn’t. Could you believe that over the 2 days course, I actually felt lonelier mingling within the family-oriented crowd than I was sitting alone at home watching TV? There were so many people I could easily strike up a chat with and yet I felt so disconnected. I had a harder time understanding and catching up with these people than communicating silently with my cats. How did that happened?

Maybe-just maybe, in unintended or indirect ways, these then-single-now-parent people I used to know and enjoy being around with-made me realized how pathetically single I was/am. And I find it pretty un-amusing when every tiny thing was about whose child did it the best or the cutest…

Anyway, not all is bad. I did enjoyed myself at the resort. I enjoyed sinking myself inside the swimming pool-which gave me more than enough time for some soul-searching so I got a brilliant idea! I should sign up for swimming classes!

It’s not that I’m any good at it. See, I spend around RM25-30 on average per week playing futsal. And that doesn’t include the pricey mineral water and 100Plus I bought between games.

I love futsal because…

1. In futsal, I have a pretty respectable reputation for-well, not for my flair-but for being the always hectic and pushy organizer.
2. Nobody plays it for fun. Everybody wants to WIN. And I love being a sore loser.
3. I get to have that sexy love-bite looking bruises all over my leg.
4. I get to bruise my big toenails. On both feet. Now, how often you get that?
5. Friendly matches always turn out to be hostile matches.
6. It’s interesting to see how the winning teams are always hostile while the losers are always friendly.
7. When we lose, there’s always someone bitchy to talk about.
8. When we win, there’s always ourselves to talk about.
9. When you’re not performing well, you can always blame it on the old bruises or some imaginary injuries.
10. At the end of every game, we get to have our own inevitable “Who Has The Most Severe Bruises Wins” little contest.

• ONE of my married colleagues is allegedly having an affair with another woman within the workplace.
• MORE THAN A FEW actually encouraged him to just go and get married with that other woman. Good advice, guys. Keep that up.
• Seriously, I think MOST of them actually envy him. Grinning green from ear to ear loaded with envy.
• Those who actually work closely with him don’t even have the guts to tell him to clean up his act.
• I’m having a strong hunch that ANOTHER ONE of my married colleagues is currently cheating fooling around.
• THE REST? I’m starting to believe they were actually hired to discuss and analyze this rare, ‘amusing’ and ‘entertaining’ occurrence continually from 8 to 5.

So, what’s new today?

Before I get started, I just want to clarify what an ABU is. It’s not a Malay uncle’s name, Pakcik Abu Bakar or anyone. It stands for Anything-But-United (Manchester United to be exact) and I guess the meaning alone clearly speaks for itself. An ABU is someone who simply hates Manchester United for no specific reason, loathes Cristiano Ronaldo although deep down, they wish they could be like him. 99% of the time, ABUs don’t have a particular favorite team. And the other 1% claimed they support a particular team (usually the other big four) but if asked, I bet they couldn’t even name their favorite first eleven. Back to the 99% or heck all of them, ABUs would simply root for any team playing against Man United whether they’re the big four or the bottom three in the table. And more often than not, ABUs don’t know how a league works (they frequently ask this stupid question “When is the final?” on Barclays Premier League), don’t have any idea what’s a relegation, can’t figure out why it’s a corner, why the free kick is given, why it’s a goal kick and let’s not get started on the Holy Grail offside rule…

Now, I don’t intend to make this a long one. I’m suffering a nasty cough today and strangely enough, I find myself coughing painfully with every word I type here. It’s as if I’m screaming these out loud. But here’s the thing. Remember the double Arsenal did on United? No? The unlikely double Wes Ham did on United? No? The double Liverpool did on United this season-yes, that include that unforgettable 1-4 loss at home. Yes? All I can say is, so what laa… Do yourself a favor and stop sounding like an old broken lame record. It was neither funny nor witty to begin with and yes, it does get old. Every game which saw United dropped points? I bet you must have heard all about them ON THE RADIO THE NEXT DAY (or from a friend who heard it on the radio the next day). Ceh… Typical of ABUs. Hardly watch any game live but strangely could talk through the whole game as if they were there on the real turf!

Credit is given where it’s due. I admit, I loved watching the big four plays and I do get a rush whenever the closest rivals dropped their points. But I consistently kept my mouth shut. I don’t get a rush talking trash about something I possess zero idea about. And I can easily admit that I liked watching Arsenal beautiful football, I was as equally pissed off with the poor refereeing decisions during Chelsea’s encounter with Barca on the CL semi-final, or the fact that Liverpool might just clinched the title if Torres and Gerrard could play more together in every match. I mean, you do know they were frequently injured this season, don’t you? Ah, no? Well, now you know!

My final advice for ABUs, get a life or if that’s too hard, go kill yourself. Kidding. Seriously, be happy regardless which team won the Premier League. Stop being such a bitchy moron over it. It’s not that you really understand any of it so why bother?

Hey, shorty! It’s my birthday. And it’s ending real quick. I always wanted to pull this off in a bakery shop but guess I’ll save this one on my 27th birthday. And please, feel free to do this on your coming birthdays.

Despite all that, he does have an impressive record of goal-scoring. I never followed Serie A before so I can’t really make my own judgment on how he played but if my guess is as good, I think I’ve seen bunch of “Pippo”s during playing futsal. There are those players who keep losing possession, can’t keep the ball, can’t help with the defense, hang around the goal-post at the other end too long, simply waiting, keep waiting for the right pass to tap in the easy goal for the team. They just know how to be in the right place at the right time. I mean, they have more than enough energy to run around and be in the right place at the right time. That is if, they can keep their cool to score that goal. Unlikely. Well, there aren’t any “Pippo”s in my team though.

I wasn’t whining about futsal at all. In fact, I was just giving you an early idea of what I’m really trying to talk about here. I’m fast approaching 26 so should I tone down my sarcasm a bit by now? Mmmm, nah… But for the sake of considering it, I’ll tone it down in this entry.

I don’t know about you but it’s not too far off if I suggest there are “Pippo”s in around our daily lives. I’m talking about the worst friend(s) in the world. These superficial people who we incorrectly called them friends, who don’t actually do anything else for us besides just appearing in the right place at the right time. They don’t offer you no help. They constantly ask for your help, when you’re in your best mood. They never offer to drive around. They simply tag along, knowing you just fill up full tank. They never call you up. They know you would. They can’t offer good advice. They’re clever enough to know that even if they could, it wouldn’t do much help anyway. They don’t ask you how you would like anything to be. They simply make assumptions. When you’re down and don’t feel like talking, they assume you’d like listening and then they can’t stop talking-about themselves or some lame stuff.

Despite all that, just like Pippo, these parasites “friends” appear to be quite well-liked by many. Why? Cos besides being parasites, they are completely and frustratingly normal, courteous everyday human-being. Unlike fox in sheep clothing, they’re merely sheep in sheep clothing. Bad sheep… Look at your friends. Seeing any “Pippo”s?